Bzuh-Wha?!?!?

I love it when lyrics catch my attention when I was only passively listening to a song in the background. But every so often, they catch my attention in a bad way.

A song just played on one of the XM stations (not even sure which one) and included the following gem:

When God gave out rhythm
Sure was good to you
You can add, subtract, multiply and divide by two

I know today's your birthday and I did not buy no rose
But I wrote this song and instead I call it, Popsicle toes

Popsicle toes
Popsicle toes are always froze
Popsicle toes
You're so brave to expose all those Popsicle toes

You must have been Mr. Olympian
With all that amplitude
How come you always load your Pentax when I am in the nude
We are to have a birthday party and you can wear your birthday clothes
Then we can hit the floor and go explore those Popsicle toes

You've got the nicest north of America
This sailor ever saw
I like to feel your warm Brazil and touch your Panama
But Tierra del Fuegos are nearly always froze
We've got to seesaw until we un-thaw those Popsicle toes

What?!?! The song was Popsicle Toes, performed by Diana Krall. Someone got paid to write that? And people deliberately listen to it?

Off to touch some Panama... (Who knew an isthmus in Central America could sound so dirty?)

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. -Andre Gide